What is modesty?

The word "modesty" is thrown around in Christian circles today so often and with no thought at all to its real and deeper meaning.  It is most often used to describe how a woman dresses.  But there is more to modesty!  Modesty is defined as "behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety and indecency"....ok, if you don't like word studies, stop right here because I'm about to bore you to the point of grabbing a stiletto and hitting yourself in the head with it.  But if you are like me and love, I say love word studies (read that as Foghorn Leghorn), then please read on!

Modesty is behavior.  Behavior is the way in which a person acts or conducts oneself.  And so Modesty in behavior is to conduct yourself in a manner that will avoid impropriety and indecency.  Well...what does that mean?  Impropriety means rude or immoral behavior, unbecomingness.  Indecency is a morally or sexually offensive quality, obscenity, filth, smuttiness.  So if we are to conduct ourselves modestly we probably shouldn't dress up as a smutty pumpkin for halloween.  We also probably shouldn't tell sexual jokes.  Have you ever said, "that's what she said" after someone said something?  I would say that would be immodest behavior.  Besides, the Bible is very clear about the use of the tongue.  Ephesians 4:29 says, "let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.  What about being rude?  Have you ever been rude to someone?  That is acting in an immodest way.  

Modesty is our manner.  Manner is an outward way of behaving towards another person.  If we behave towards others in a way that is morally or sexually offensive or if we behave rudely or immorally than we are being immodest in our behavior.  I think if we stop and think about it we can all say that we ALL have a problem with this issue even more so than our manner of dress.  Do you ever glare at a person?  Do you ever roll your eyes, or cross your arms, or slam a door, or cupboard?  Do you ever cut someone off while driving?  Do you ever give someone "the finger"?    These things and things like it are immodest. 

Modesty is our appearance.  Can your appearance be sexually offensive?  Can it be rude or unbecoming?  Most certainly.  In our day and age (and the reason for all the talk on modesty) it is easy to see how a persons appearance can be sexually offensive.  But have you ever wondered about your appearance being rude or unbecoming?  You probably have not.  But I would say that according to the definition of modesty that our appearance can be both sexually offensive and rude!  What about that person who walks down the street with his pants belted around his knees and his boxers hanging out?  That is rude, unbecoming, and sexually offensive.  Why do we laugh at the jokes about how people dress when they go to Walmart?  You know the pictures I am talking about, and if you don't, go to pinterest and type in "walmart people" and you will see what I mean.  These are people whose appearance is rude and unbecoming, but not sexually offensive.

I would venture to say that most of my readers have never thought of modesty in this way.  I recently read an article on modesty that was suggested to me by someone and I walked away thinking the only thing wrong was the persons behavior and manner.  We can be immodest in our actions as well as our dress.  Let's remember to not become carried away with one aspect of modesty to the neglect of every other aspect.  Don't be as "whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness (Matthew 23:27)".  You can wear the most "modest" apparel and still be immodest in manner and behavior.  Which do you think our God is more concerned with?  Luke 16:15 says, "And He (that being Jesus) said to them (the pharisees), 'You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts..."

A slight rant on Modesty

As I'm preparing my posts on modesty, I am also doing other reading from my enormously long reading list.  I just finished a book review on Alan Conner's book Covenant Children Today, Physical or Spiritual.  It was an excellent read.  Then, I picked up An Orthodox Catechism by Hercules Collins.  If you don't know, it is an edited version of the Heidelberg Catechism, which I find to be a monumental blessing.  And, as the Lord frequently does, there was a gem...just sitting there in the first few pages of the book.  If you had been reading the book you may not have noticed it, and I don't know if I would have if my mind weren't also engaged in thoughts about loving our sisters in Christ, particularly regarding this issue of modesty.  But I will get back to that in a minute.

Why is modesty such a hot topic now?  Well, first of all it is because our culture is over-sexualized.  But secondly, because it is easier to blame our sister in Christ, than to address our husband's lustful and imaginative eye.

But, I don't want to borrow from a future post, and so I will move on.  

I hope we can all agree that the majority of the issues on modesty, the prescriptive ideas on exactly what to wear, is nowhere in the Bible.  We are at liberty here as long as we do not purposefully wear blatantly sexual clothes.  So why all the anger and hostility if it is a liberty?  Why the glances at another woman in judgement...as if we can read her heart!  We can't.  And we can't become her master or we usurp God.  And aren't we supposed to love our sister?  (1 John 4:7-8; John 13:34-35; 1 Peter 4:8 and more)  But where is the love when we judge and put motives that are not really her's onto her.  Who gets to decide if she is "dressing for the eyes of God" or for the eyes of men.  (again, blatant sexual clothing is not what I'm talking about).

Have you ever looked at a woman's shoes and said they were "hooker shoes"?  (Actual comment made to a young woman!)  What does that even mean?  And furthermore, what do "hooker shoes" look like and who gets to decide that?  That is not a helpful statement and in fact is hateful and harmful to our sister in Christ.  I'm so thankful that God looks at our hearts.

But again, I digress...to get back to the book I'm reading...

Hercules Collins says, in his preface, "Now albeit there are some differences between many godly divines and us in church constitution, yet inasmuch as those things are not the essence of Christianity, but that we do agree in the fundamental doctrine thereof, there is sufficient ground to lay aside all bitterness and prejudice, and labor to maintain a spirit of love each to other, knowing we shall never see all alike here."

He was not talking about modesty at all.  He was talking about things pertaining to the way the Bride of Christ is organized and run!  If we are to have this attitude to "lay aside all bitterness and prejudice and labor to maintain a spirit of love each" in regards to the Bride of Christ, how much more should we have this attitude over a matter of liberty such as modesty.

I realize someone is going to say, "but some women ARE immodest".  Yes.  And I will get to that in future posts.  But let us examine and address our own hearts first.  Please remember modesty is not the "essence of Christianity".    

Make sure you believe what you believe.

I believe I have mentioned before that I am a confessionally reformed baptist and that I gladly and willingly am a member of an Orthodox Presbyterian Church.  The Duchess of Hips is in the same boat as I am.  We were discussing infant baptism, and she had some really good questions.  While she is studying through it I was reminded that we should always make sure we believe what we say we believe.  I'm a Credobaptist, but have I studied both sides?  Well, actually, I have.  Several times.  But am I willing to have my mind changed by scripture?  I sure hope so.  In light of that, when I stumbled upon a book called "Covenant Children Today:: Physical or Spiritual", I was intrigued.  And when I saw that it was written by Alan Conner I couldn't resist it!

Alan Conner was my Pastor at Northwest Bible Church when we lived in Oklahoma (many moons ago).

This book is only 122 pages long, and has 15 chapters and 4 Appendix.  I find this interesting because after the 15 chapters it was like he couldn't stop and just kept thinking of one more thing to add.  It reminded me of my series on Modesty with all my preface's.

Anyway, he had so many well thought out arguments that I had never even thought of, or come across in my studies before.  He also had the normal ones about household baptisms (ch 14) and circumcision (ch 10).

Pastor Conner brings out the beautiful contrasts between the Old and New Covenant and urges his reader to not bring the "old, worn-out skins of the Old Covenant" into the New Covenant.  He does this by doing a wonderful word study (I did just call a word study wonderful, I LOVE them!) on the word New.  It does not mean Renewed.  He also brings out passages of the Bible to show what God said about the New Covenant, such as Jeremiah 31:31-34 and Hebrews 8:13.  The latter verse says, "When He said, 'A new covenant," He has made the first obsolete.  But whatever is becoming obsolete and growing old is ready to disappear."

This book is not a highly academic book that only a Pastor or student in seminary would read.  This is a book that is chalk-full of scripture, and it is a book for the masses.  I was so very blessed and renewed in my belief that the Bible does in fact teach a credobaptist view.  And if you are a Presbyterian, I would share with you two things about the book::

• Pastor Conner starts the book with a Preface in which he makes clear to his reader that he does have love for his Presbyterian brethren.  I think this is important because he is realizing that these views, while important, are not a cause to break fellowship!
• He does use the word "obviously" a lot.  Why do I bring this up?  Because for someone disagreeing with where he is coming from, it is NOT obvious.  Please, still read the book, just go into it knowing it will be there and don't take offense where it wasn't meant.

You can find the book here for only $9.00.  A great value, and I guarantee you will learn something!

What is the goal of your life? Part I

*This post has been edited for clarity.

What can I say...I have a thing for multiple posts.

My last post was pretty taxing on my little 'ol brain...this is how I felt after all my research into it...

So here is something a little more simple to dwell on.  

Heidelberg Catechism Question 49:: How does Christ's ascension to heaven benefit us?

A:: First, he pleads our cause in heaven in the presence of his Father. 

      Second, we have our own flesh in heaven -- a guarantee that Christ our head will take us, his members, to himself in heaven.

      Third, he sends his Spirit to us on earth as a further guarantee.  By the Spirit's power we make the goal of our lives, not earthly things, but the things above where Christ is, sitting at God's right hand.

Colossians 3:1-4  "If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God.  Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.  For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ who is our life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory..."

Did I say this was a more simple post?  Oops!  Misleading much??  BWAHAHA...

What is the goal of your life?  Are you dwelling on earthly things?  Or are you dwelling on the One who sits at the right hand of God the Father.  Seek the things that are above.

Being a RB in a Presbyterian world

I'm a Reformed Baptist.  WHEW!  That feels good to say.

I don't say that...ever.  It is not that I am ashamed of it, more that I do not want to be divisive.  See, we attend a Presbyterian church and are members there.  It is a wonderful church and we are very thankful to be there and to hear the Word diligently preached.  However, we have had an experience before where we were pestered about not baptizing our babies.  It wasn't in a church setting.  No, this came from members in the church, in our own home, in the midst of a time of fellowship.  And it did not just happen once or twice.  We know we are the odd ones in the church, and we are ok with that.  There are no good Reformed Baptist churches in our area and it is so nice to have a church so similar in belief that we can attend.  I have a few pieces of advice to any RB's attending a Presbyterian church...these might be particularly helpful to the Duchess of Hips...

1.  Remember that YOU are willingly attending a church that holds to a different view.

2.  Smile and be gracious to the parents who just baptized their baby.  To them it is a joyous occasion and you should not be grumpy cat, remember that they do NOT believe the child is saved during baptism.  (I realize some do...I'm not going into that)

3.  During a Bible study or time of fellowship when other congregants are discussing infant baptism, hold your tongue.  This is not a time to argue a Baptist viewpoint.

4.  This could be included in #3, but again...you should not be making this face...

5.  Do not be easily offended, be quick to forgive.  

6.  Remember Hebrews 10:24 "And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near."

So much more, but this is all I can say for now.  My little bear is needing his mama's attention.

Not Crazy about Crazy Busy

I am not excited about writing this book review, probably because I don't recommend reading the book.  Especially to someone wanting to learn how to set priorities and posteriorities.  This book will just make you feel like you aren't alone.  It offers no answers, and offers no insight.  Kevin DeYoung talks about how busy Jesus was, and never comes out and says it but sure sounds like he is defending his business by talking about Jesus.  I'm not really sure we can compare our busy lives to the busy life of Jesus.  He had a job to do, and that was to save the world (John 3:17).  

I also struggled with DeYoung's take on the Lord's Day.  He calls us to take a weekly rest on the Sabbath, but he says it in the same breath as saying we need more sleep, and maybe a yearly retreat.  Sabbath rest is a command from God. Getting more sleep may be wise, it isn't a command. 

At the end of the book we are told to remember Mary and Martha.  Mary chose the good portion, to learn and worship.  Martha was being busy.  And so do your devotions.  

That's it.  There's ‘Crazy Busy’, now you don't have to read it.  

I read one other review that felt the same way I did.  I like this review, and the comments from readers are really good as well.  I think Eric Landry gives some really good, practical tips in the comments section.  He says, 

"Make sure that one day in seven is spent in worship, rest, service, and fellowship. If we stop treating Sunday like a Saturday extension, it will change the way we treat the other days, too.

Make sure that you are regularly engaged in deep relationships with others in your church. This may mean not hauling your children to multiple sports venues every week, but allowing them to kick the ball in the front yard as people from church and your neighborhood gather together for a regular meal.
Have you planned your life expenses so that you can work without being a slave to work? Do you take every extra shift or work every available overtime hour to get ahead at the cost of your family and “one another” relationships in the body of Christ?
Do you give as much weight to your role as father, brother, son as you do to your career, hobbies, and sports? Does your use of time actually tell a different story than should be told about you?"

I also want to end this by saying that we all have a "main thing" that we should be focused on.  Now this isn't my wisdom, a dear Pastor friend of mine gave me this advice.  He said his main thing as a Pastor is to preach the Word,

and MY main thing as a mama of small children, is to BE a mama to my small children.  He said some other wise things, but honestly this is the one that really has stuck with me.  

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.” - Steven R. Covey

But...WHY???

Ok, so you didn't buy that I really want to learn to write?  Here's the true story of why this  blog exists...

And there you have it.  

Up next, a Book Review on Kevin DeYoung's book "Crazy Busy"...and I'm afraid it isn't as sweet as the other reviews you have read.

Becoming a theologian...again...

I grew up in a Reformed and fully Confessional Baptist family.  My daddy was amazing and early on instilled the love of theology in me.  I loved studying theology, and I loved doctrine.  

This past October I had a surgery on my jaw that took me out of commission for a long while.  It was terrible!  I lounged around in my jammies, on my special Queen recliner, watching Abbott and Costello movies, and reading...a lot.

It hurt to speak, it hurt a LOT to laugh (so why was I watching some of the greatest comedians of all time?), and of course it hurt to eat.  For 6 weeks I could only eat soft foods I could swallow.  I'm pretty sure I looked like this...

Thankfully, I love to read, so it was not that terrible of a situation for me.  My husband brought to my attention a book he had heard discussed on Christ the Center called Housewife Theologian by Aimee Byrd.  He told me that she sounded like someone who would be my friend, and so, hence-forward, when I talk about her to my hubby, she is known as, "you know, my friend, Aimee...the theologian?"  I'm not sure if she would appreciate that or not, but I mean it with almost all sincerity (since I don't actually know her I can't mean it with ALL sincerity).    Her interview with Camden Bucey and Nancy Guthrie was wonderful.  Here I had found a woman who loved learning about theology as much, probably more, than I did...AND she had written a book!  AND it was a book on how women should be theologians.  If I was at an auction I would have been the one jumping up and down in the back making sure I was seen yelling, "MINE!!!!" and then because I don't have a lot of money I would have ran forward grabbed it while saying something like, "YOINK" and ran out laughing wildly.  Anyone who knows me can see this all happening.

I have been so thankful for this work.  Having recently attended a church where I went backwards in my knowledge and thirst and desire for the Lord, I felt I really needed to hear what she had to say.  And while you think I sound horrible that I would say those things about a church, let me clarify.  This church firmly believed that women were all evil.  I'm not completely exaggerating there either.  Women were not allowed to do Bible Studies because we are so easily deceived.  We could do a book study, but not on a book of the Bible.  And if a question came up that required opening the Word, we had to stop, and refer it to a Pastor.  The Pastor even said his wife was not allowed to study the Bible on her own.  Now, I only attended this church for a year or so, but it was enough to do its damage.  I had no DESIRE even to study anymore.

In many ways, I believe my surgery was needed right at that time so that God could grab my attention fully and draw me back to Him.  He substantially used "my friend" to do that.  In her book, Housewife Theologian: How the Gospel Interrupts the Ordinary, she opened up what it means to be a woman living under God.  She piqued my desire and interest with every page.  Her questions at the end of each chapter felt like a shot through the heart (sorry for the Bon Jovi reference).  She spoke of how every believer was to be a theologian, and how that meant to study God, to KNOW HIM!  Not just on Sunday's, but every day and in every area of life.  I couldn't put the book down, and since I didn't have to because I was lounging around and being taken care of by others, I finished all 240 pages very quickly...especially for a person on pain pills.

"My friend" has been a gift from God in her book that she has written and also in her blog.  One thing that she mentions is that every year she picks something to study and for Christmas she gets books on that subject.  She is always learning, and I am praying that God would give me the ability to do the same.  This past Christmas I asked for books about Apologetics and Art.  (yes, I started with A's, but that doesn't mean next year I will do Baptism and Beer...although, maybe...)

And so, "My friend", this is to you...my first and second real pieces of painted art...

And if I must post a picture of me studying Apologetics, I suppose here is one...

so...go check out "my friend's" blog.  and go read her book.

Mysterious Queen

While I am not at liberty have no desire to divulge to the world my true identity, I can let my reader know a little about me.  

First of all...and this will be shocking...I am not actually a Queen.  Yes, that would be truly fantastic if I were.  Yes, I would be a magnificent Queen, but the Bible clearly states in Hebrews 13:5, "Be content with such things as you have." And so, I am content with my tape, pine trees, et al.  

Secondly, I am technically a Baptist that holds to the 1689 Confession of Faith.  I happen to attend a Presbyterian Church, and I happen to love being in a fully Confessional, Reformed, and theologically sound Church.

Thirdly, I'm spastic.  Yesterday I may post a blog about an awesome book, today a weird (albeit completely inspiring and well written) post about myself, tomorrow maybe a magnum opus on how truly terrifying and evil clowns are and how great that there is a shortage!

Lastly, I'm actually working on a real post and it is another book review.  What can I say, I apparently didn't write enough book reports in school.  

I have a sister, the Duchess of Garbage Sinks, that pressured me into writing a post today, so you can blame her for the crazy that you just endured.  

Learning...to write and to Love

This site is a work in progress.  I have been contemplating how to learn to write, and I have heard many times that to learn to write you must write.  So here I am, learning to write.  I am passionate about many things and so to pick one thing to write about is too hard for me.  Another piece of advice is to write what you know...well...I'm throwing out that advice because if any of you know me you can attest to me not knowing much at all!  I think today I want to mostly write about Love.

This book is so wonderfully helpful.  I have struggled with how to love as a Christian should love.  God has graciously been teaching me and helping me on in my sanctification.

I'm going to start by giving a quick disclaimer at the outset::  There is a concept in this book that I can not agree with and that is the simple statement of, "forgive and forget".  It is mentioned briefly, in passing, and that is the harshness of those words.  Those who have struggled with great sin done TO them will likely cringe when they get to that part and I would say to please read past it.  I do not think they are meant for you with hearts that are tormented from the evil-doing of another.  God, in time, will help you to forgive, and when you reach Glory, He will wipe every tear from your eye, and that is when you will forget.  (Revelation 7:17)

But the beautifulness of this book is how Mr. Renihan takes this very well known, oft misused passage in scripture and gives a wonderful exegesis of it in context of what the Corinthian church was going through.

Mr. Renihan begins his book by looking at 1 John 4:19, "We love Him because He first loved us."  What a wonderful place to start talking about love!  How can anyone truly love without knowing the GREAT LOVE of the Father?  He helpfully explains that the source of true love comes from God.

After this Mr. Renihan explains what the Corinthians were going through and why this book was written and then BAM!  He hits us with his explanation of verses 1-3, and he does not disappoint.  (I will not tell what he writes so that you can have the pleasure of discovering it yourself.)  And he moves on, taking each segment of this chapter in turn.  And each bit is brought so well that you can not walk away saying anything but, "Wow, I thought I was doing well but yeah...totally not."  (ok, maybe you won't say EXACTLY that, maybe something more smart sounding, but I'm a new writer, mmmmk?)

The end of the book is a Gospel message.  I love how Mr. Renihan bookends this treatise with the Gospel, and how could anyone do anything but that when dealing with True Love.

My recommendation?  Go out and get this book and read it...it truly is worth a spot on your bookshelf!


http://www.amazon.com/True-Love-Understanding-Meaning-Christian/dp/085234713