Entertaining or Hospitality?

Do you know the difference between hospitality and entertaining?  Did you know there IS a difference?  Would it surprise you if I told you that while there is a place for entertaining, and it can be a part of hospitality, you should reflect more on which you are more concerned with?

So here it is.  Entertaining is the act of providing amusement or enjoyment.  This is more about you than them.

Whereas hospitality is generous and friendly treatment of visitors and guests.  That means it is about them not you.

Does one of those sound more doable to you?  I personally love to provide amusement, just being myself does that!  And my husband says I'm really good at being generous and friendly to our visitors.  Well that's great!  I'm done here.  I've mastered both.  The end.  Good Day.

OH WAIT!!!!  So, I was reading this book I may have mentioned before called Housewife Theologian by Aimee Byrd.  She has a chapter on hospitality and there she says, "yes, please clean your house, but let your guard down too.  I'm talking about sharing in living, not making an image."  This hit me hard.  I like having everything exactly right before having anyone over.  I even go so far as to vacuum and sweep RIGHT before my guests show up.  Now, there is nothing wrong with this, but there are two problems (maybe more, but I'm dealing with two, mmmk?)::

1. Am I acting in a godly way before my guests arrive?  Or am I running around stressed because my house didn't get vacuumed a second time that day.  Would something terrible happen if I didn't vacuum a second time, right before they are there?  Would it be terrible if there was a toy left out or an item sitting on my counter?  No.  Of course not.  And yet I act like it would be the end of the world.  I become short-tempered, impatient, and just plain grumpy. 
   
2. I'm trying to create an image.  That I am perfect.  That my house is perfect, my kids are perfect, and look how put together we are.  I am not being real am I?  I am not letting my guard down with my guests.  I'm not going to sugar-coat this.  I am sinning, and so are you if you are creating an image you want your guests to see.  I am feeling pretty proud of myself when I can get my guests to think of me highly.  Proverbs 11:2 says, "When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom." and 1 Corinthians 13:4 says, "Love is patient.  Love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

So, what can I change?  Well, ultimately my heart.  But that doesn't happen by itself, but with much prayer and spending time in God's word.

But also, I would say taking the focus off myself...which brings me back to what am I doing?  Am I entertaining?  or being hospitable.  Well, since the focus is all about me I would say I am not being hospitable.  I have two little children, and if there are some toys on the floor that is fine and detracts nothing from being hospitable.  I don't need to stress about it, and I don't need to apologize to my guests for it (this again puts the focus back on me and will make my guests feel awkward). 

It turns out there is more to being hospitable that I originally thought.  

Also, here is a little something for the Duchess of Garbage Sinks since she is the littlest Duchess.

Becoming a theologian...again...

I grew up in a Reformed and fully Confessional Baptist family.  My daddy was amazing and early on instilled the love of theology in me.  I loved studying theology, and I loved doctrine.  

This past October I had a surgery on my jaw that took me out of commission for a long while.  It was terrible!  I lounged around in my jammies, on my special Queen recliner, watching Abbott and Costello movies, and reading...a lot.

It hurt to speak, it hurt a LOT to laugh (so why was I watching some of the greatest comedians of all time?), and of course it hurt to eat.  For 6 weeks I could only eat soft foods I could swallow.  I'm pretty sure I looked like this...

Thankfully, I love to read, so it was not that terrible of a situation for me.  My husband brought to my attention a book he had heard discussed on Christ the Center called Housewife Theologian by Aimee Byrd.  He told me that she sounded like someone who would be my friend, and so, hence-forward, when I talk about her to my hubby, she is known as, "you know, my friend, Aimee...the theologian?"  I'm not sure if she would appreciate that or not, but I mean it with almost all sincerity (since I don't actually know her I can't mean it with ALL sincerity).    Her interview with Camden Bucey and Nancy Guthrie was wonderful.  Here I had found a woman who loved learning about theology as much, probably more, than I did...AND she had written a book!  AND it was a book on how women should be theologians.  If I was at an auction I would have been the one jumping up and down in the back making sure I was seen yelling, "MINE!!!!" and then because I don't have a lot of money I would have ran forward grabbed it while saying something like, "YOINK" and ran out laughing wildly.  Anyone who knows me can see this all happening.

I have been so thankful for this work.  Having recently attended a church where I went backwards in my knowledge and thirst and desire for the Lord, I felt I really needed to hear what she had to say.  And while you think I sound horrible that I would say those things about a church, let me clarify.  This church firmly believed that women were all evil.  I'm not completely exaggerating there either.  Women were not allowed to do Bible Studies because we are so easily deceived.  We could do a book study, but not on a book of the Bible.  And if a question came up that required opening the Word, we had to stop, and refer it to a Pastor.  The Pastor even said his wife was not allowed to study the Bible on her own.  Now, I only attended this church for a year or so, but it was enough to do its damage.  I had no DESIRE even to study anymore.

In many ways, I believe my surgery was needed right at that time so that God could grab my attention fully and draw me back to Him.  He substantially used "my friend" to do that.  In her book, Housewife Theologian: How the Gospel Interrupts the Ordinary, she opened up what it means to be a woman living under God.  She piqued my desire and interest with every page.  Her questions at the end of each chapter felt like a shot through the heart (sorry for the Bon Jovi reference).  She spoke of how every believer was to be a theologian, and how that meant to study God, to KNOW HIM!  Not just on Sunday's, but every day and in every area of life.  I couldn't put the book down, and since I didn't have to because I was lounging around and being taken care of by others, I finished all 240 pages very quickly...especially for a person on pain pills.

"My friend" has been a gift from God in her book that she has written and also in her blog.  One thing that she mentions is that every year she picks something to study and for Christmas she gets books on that subject.  She is always learning, and I am praying that God would give me the ability to do the same.  This past Christmas I asked for books about Apologetics and Art.  (yes, I started with A's, but that doesn't mean next year I will do Baptism and Beer...although, maybe...)

And so, "My friend", this is to you...my first and second real pieces of painted art...

And if I must post a picture of me studying Apologetics, I suppose here is one...

so...go check out "my friend's" blog.  and go read her book.