What is modesty?

The word "modesty" is thrown around in Christian circles today so often and with no thought at all to its real and deeper meaning.  It is most often used to describe how a woman dresses.  But there is more to modesty!  Modesty is defined as "behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety and indecency"....ok, if you don't like word studies, stop right here because I'm about to bore you to the point of grabbing a stiletto and hitting yourself in the head with it.  But if you are like me and love, I say love word studies (read that as Foghorn Leghorn), then please read on!

Modesty is behavior.  Behavior is the way in which a person acts or conducts oneself.  And so Modesty in behavior is to conduct yourself in a manner that will avoid impropriety and indecency.  Well...what does that mean?  Impropriety means rude or immoral behavior, unbecomingness.  Indecency is a morally or sexually offensive quality, obscenity, filth, smuttiness.  So if we are to conduct ourselves modestly we probably shouldn't dress up as a smutty pumpkin for halloween.  We also probably shouldn't tell sexual jokes.  Have you ever said, "that's what she said" after someone said something?  I would say that would be immodest behavior.  Besides, the Bible is very clear about the use of the tongue.  Ephesians 4:29 says, "let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.  What about being rude?  Have you ever been rude to someone?  That is acting in an immodest way.  

Modesty is our manner.  Manner is an outward way of behaving towards another person.  If we behave towards others in a way that is morally or sexually offensive or if we behave rudely or immorally than we are being immodest in our behavior.  I think if we stop and think about it we can all say that we ALL have a problem with this issue even more so than our manner of dress.  Do you ever glare at a person?  Do you ever roll your eyes, or cross your arms, or slam a door, or cupboard?  Do you ever cut someone off while driving?  Do you ever give someone "the finger"?    These things and things like it are immodest. 

Modesty is our appearance.  Can your appearance be sexually offensive?  Can it be rude or unbecoming?  Most certainly.  In our day and age (and the reason for all the talk on modesty) it is easy to see how a persons appearance can be sexually offensive.  But have you ever wondered about your appearance being rude or unbecoming?  You probably have not.  But I would say that according to the definition of modesty that our appearance can be both sexually offensive and rude!  What about that person who walks down the street with his pants belted around his knees and his boxers hanging out?  That is rude, unbecoming, and sexually offensive.  Why do we laugh at the jokes about how people dress when they go to Walmart?  You know the pictures I am talking about, and if you don't, go to pinterest and type in "walmart people" and you will see what I mean.  These are people whose appearance is rude and unbecoming, but not sexually offensive.

I would venture to say that most of my readers have never thought of modesty in this way.  I recently read an article on modesty that was suggested to me by someone and I walked away thinking the only thing wrong was the persons behavior and manner.  We can be immodest in our actions as well as our dress.  Let's remember to not become carried away with one aspect of modesty to the neglect of every other aspect.  Don't be as "whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness (Matthew 23:27)".  You can wear the most "modest" apparel and still be immodest in manner and behavior.  Which do you think our God is more concerned with?  Luke 16:15 says, "And He (that being Jesus) said to them (the pharisees), 'You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts..."